A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up" "Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the ..

Always forgive your enemies; nothing else annoys them so much.

Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case, they're nothing.

Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Teacher: Tony, why r u late for school again? Tony: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time.

Three old pilots are walking on the ramp. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second says, "No, its Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Lest go get a beer."

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle

Love is like a Cigar It's Start With a Fire ... Continues with Smoke ... And ends In Ashes... But Don,t Worry We are Chain Smokers...

Yesterdays news : An aunty was raped while jogging.
Todays news: More aunties found jogging.

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
When a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk....
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN:"Honey, its me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat. Its $1,000. Can I buy it?" MAN: "OK, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: Ho..